What I liked most about quarantine

One of my favorite quotes of all time relates to how a person treats someone who can do them absolutely no good.

I live my life by this quote. I base my parenting on it. It’s really, really important to me.

Some reading this who know me casually may be surprised to hear this, but to those who really know me, this is not new information. I hold doors open for all people, not just women and not just old farts. I share vegetables from our garden with strangers. I buy items for people I’ve just met because we had a conversation about something and I realized it would help them accomplish whatever goal we discussed. I build things for people. I used to mow the neighbor’s lawn at our old house, even though she and I never had a conversation.

That’s unusual enough — and plenty have criticized me for giving too much of myself for nothing — but what really irks some is that I also clean up after our family after eating at a restaurant, wipe down counters near the fountain drinks at a gas station and have even cleaned toilets in public restrooms if the cleaning supplies are somewhere nearby.

The one thing listed I will always do — and I hope my kids remember about me — is leave the area where we were seated at a restaurant as tidy as it was when we sat down. I’ve crawled under tables to pick up fries my toddler has dropped. I stack the dishes and slide them to the end of the table, sorted with smaller items on top and trash all together, so all someone needs to do is scoop it up and go.

I’m proud to say my kids now do this.

There are some who are of the mentality “restaurant staff gets paid to do that; we are paying for this service.” Although she’s never come right out and said that, my mom makes gestures she’s disgusted whenever we eat with her and I break into this routine following our meal. I had a boss recommend I not do this at business meals, especially at a fancy restaurant, and I understand why.

I get it. It makes people feel uncomfortable, like they should also do that. I don’t judge them if they don’t … because I don’t think you should absolutely do this.

I do, however, believe you should absolutely not treat restaurant staff like stray dogs.

Yes, while there’s nothing wrong to expect a server to “do their job” and clean up afterward, there’s A LOT wrong with believing the rules of how to treat another human disappear when someone eats at a restaurant.

I once observed a couple sitting near us plot to get their food for free before ordering, then proceed to be complete assholes to a cheery waitress when she tried to serve, talk crap about her to each other when she walked away, then ask to speak to the manager because a well-done steak was “burnt.”

Of course, they got their food for free. Assholes.

I constantly see parents of young kids make no effort to curb their toddler from throwing food. I go into restaurant bathrooms and there are paper towels all over the floor, even though the trash can is sitting there wide open and practically empty. Finally, I see restaurant staff go to the ends of the Earth for people to try to make them satisfied … only to discover it’s never gonna happen.

Folks, this is terrible. This is ugly. This is literally treating another human being like he or she does not have feelings, a right to serenity or a soul … like they aren’t someone’s son, daughter, father, mother, etc.

I WAS SUPRISED BY MYSELF a few weeks ago as talk of states re-opening and life returning to normal made me feel disappointed. (Disclaimer: my job has not been affected by quarantine … so there’s that.) I began to feel guilty. So many people want life to get back to normal — why am I the opposite?

It weighed heavy on my mind for a few days.

Then one day, as I was driving among a re-emergence of late-week evening traffic and remarked to myself how inconsiderate some drivers were being, I realized what it was: I was not looking forward to seeing these people again.

Lady in Walmart cussing out the bag checker for doing his job while her kids observe? You did this. CNA still in her scrubs while eating pasta at Applebee’s with her husband and shaking her empty glass at a busy waitress to “signal” she needs a refill? Yeah, you too. Guy in the Lowe’s bathroom throwing paper towels on the floor even though the trash can is RIGHT THERE? Married guy making no effort to hide his stare at a bartender’s hind end? You’re the reason I prefer quarantine. You people suck and I’d be fine with you going to Hell.

As businesses re-open, I hope everyone looks forward to demonstrating the humility this experience has hopefully taught us. It’s unfortunate empathy has reached levels low enough that I’d rather be surrounded by only my inner circle than rub elbows (figuratively, of course) with strangers.

Sure, some jobs are higher than others on society’s figurative totem pole … but unless someone is a murderer, child molester or drug dealer*, they’re not doing anything to warrant the suspension of their right to be treated like a human being.

*not all drug dealers are in this boat … many are, but not all